It’s time for your parenting highs and lows of the week.
We also have a question from a reader who is feeling like she’s lost her superpowers after having her second child.
As always, leave some love in the comments!
Give her an award
—Just Another 2022 Mom
Survived the first week of my newborn’s life, in an apartment with a toddler, with my partner in COVID quarantine out of the house. 💀
Surprise!
—Evolving Mama
I am nine weeks postpartum with my second child, and the more I reflect on our most recent birth story, the more I am proud of my husband and me for our growth in flexibility. This little one came barreling into the world after an 80-minute labor, and my husband was the one to deliver our baby girl in our bedroom. We didn’t plan or prepare for a home birth (hello, new mattress!), but we were calm, cool, and collected. Parenthood is just a series of letting things go and pivoting, and boy, was this birth no exception!
Tale as old as time
—Mary-Kate
In regard to the Disney princess discussion, my 3-year-old daughter watched Beauty and the Beast for the first time recently. After the movie, she proclaimed, “When I grow up, I’m going to be like Belle!” I cautiously held my breath waiting for what she would say next. She continued, “AND WALK IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD! BY! MY! SELF!” Yeah, girl!
Now it’s time for this week’s reader question:
I have two daughters: a 16-week-old and a 26-month-old. When we had the first, I was very confident staying alone with her from the get-go; it was natural. After the second arrived, I cannot even imagine taking care of the two on my own. I completely freak out at the thought of it, and I feel like a wimp. How old does the old one have to be for this to feel a bit easier? Does this feeling ever go away? Am I going to feel like a superhero mom ever again?
—The Ex-Superhero
What do you think? Leave a comment below.
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I just wanted to add that obviously there are a ton of moms in here saying they are right there with you, but I did experience this as well and at least part of the problem was actually PPD/PPA. I went to therapy all along but I finally started on medication when my baby was 10 months and it made a huge difference. I no longer stress about having them both at home or taking them out. I do think some of it was also time and practice (actually being alone with them), but for sure the meds helped. This may not be your situation at all, but I just wanted to mention it in case it resonates at all. Postpartum support international is a good place to look for resources. And even if it isn't ppd/PPA, having someone to talk to is always helpful. Thinking of you!
It can be totally daunting (our kids are 24m and 4.5 yr now) but don't forget about every parent's best friend - bribery!! Bribe the older child to help with things, to be patient, to give you a minute, to stop whining. You won't ruin her and you'll take some power back. 26m is young but she'll start to catch on that if she's cool sometimes you'll give her a chocolate chip (little bribery is the easiest). Also sweet lady Screen Time will bail you out. Need to put the baby down? Put on Peppa. They're 5 minutes long so you aren't signing up for a whole movie. Once we accepted that these tools wouldn't ruin our children life got a ton easier. Also give up on any idea that you'll maintain cleanliness... they're messy and it'll stay messy for awhile. Just push back the tide after bed time, and maintain.