Our first story today might be an all-time favorite. Who else needs a hug at drop-off?
We also have a reader question about how to lessen the stress of starting solids.
Leave a comment if you have advice for her or any of our parents. Thanks for being here!
Bring It In
—Free Hugs
My 3-year-old screamed so much at pre-K drop-off that last year’s teacher came into the hallway and said, “It sounds like someone needs a hug.” I nodded and had my arms fully around her before I realized she meant the 3-year-old.
Chilling with Children
—PNW Loves Her Routines
My 17-month-old daughter and I visited some friends for the weekend who happen to be cool, on-the-go parents whose 1-year-old “just sleeps when she’s tired.” My daughter, on the other hand, vastly enjoys her 2- or 3-hour naps in her crib on the weekends, which is probably very restful after short day-care naps during the week. Unless given a calm, quiet place to sprawl out on her tummy (or maybe a car seat... maybe!), she will just go-go-go, finding new and exciting observations and activities, barreling past her overtired level and into a tantrum monster. The whole weekend I was just filled with anxiety and jealousy watching our friends’ 1-year-old happily playing well past noon or napping in their parents’ arms while I was managing an overtired baby trying to get comfy in a new setting. I feel so bad not providing my baby with what she needs, but why can’t I have these chill days too?!
Party On
—Bookworm Mom
After putting my 1-year-old to bed, I’ve started having “book parties” with my 3-year-old. We cuddle up in my bed with stacks of books and play classical music and read until her bedtime. Sometimes I read to her, and sometimes we each quietly read (or in her case, look at) our own books. It is so special and has the added benefit of being an excellent motivator for good behavior. The other day while I was getting the baby down, she put on pajamas and brushed her teeth without being asked so she could have extra book-party time!
Now it’s time for this week’s reader question:
I am struggling hard trying to figure out what solids to feed my seven-month-old twins every day. There’s all this pressure to introduce new things and mix it up and “feed them what you eat.” But I eat the same stuff all the time. Variety is hard. I will take any suggestions!
—Tired Twin Mom
What do you think? Leave a comment below.
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I have three kids, currently 7, 4, and 2. I always pictured myself as a cool, on-the-go mom, but the reality is that my kids just aren't like that. I quickly learned that if there was going to be any hope of survival, we needed strict nap times and clearly defined "quiet times" to reset. It was really tough to see other families out and about when my kids needed to be home in their beds, and I often wondered if I was doing something wrong as a parent.
Worse, my oldest was "that" kid, even as a baby. I remember, many years ago, sitting in a cafe with my bestie, whose baby was three months older. Her 11-month-old sat happily in her highchair eating cheerios while my 8-month-old army-crawled over the barricade of strollers we had purposely made to contain her and was already halfway out the door of the cafe before I managed to (literally) vault over to rescue her. There have been many, many times I've cried over the years, wondering if I'm a bad parent who doesn't know how to set limits. I've thought not-so-nice thoughts at family gatherings, where the similar-aged cousins play quietly and happily with the dollhouse while my hellions use a moment of quiet to turn the staircase into a rollercoaster using a combination of couch cushions and chutzpah.
But. During the most recent visit to family, after a week of feeling increasingly poorly about my parenting and my "wild" kids -- particularly in comparison to the quiet, well-mannered cousins -- there was a pretty incredible moment. I took my oldest (age 7) to a campout night at a local community center, and offered to take the same-age cousin along with us. My daughter didn't know anyone there, but within three seconds, she had devised a fantasy game that had all 20-something kids running around on an imaginary quest. I settled into my camp chair to enjoy some quiet while the kids played, as usual. But then I noticed my nephew struggling to engage. He tried so hard to join the play, but he was so shy and uncomfortable with the unknown kids that he just couldn't do it. My daughter ran over to him repeatedly, offering him different roles in the game, asking if he wanted to play something different, introducing him specifically to her "new friends" -- every trick in the extrovert's social tool box. Nothing worked.
Long story short, I spent a great night searching for blackberries with my nephew. My daughter? I found her two hours later, helping to build a bonfire and handing out sticks to the whole group for s'mores. I love my nephew, and he has so many special talents that make him an incredible little human. But with the gift of time and distance, I wouldn't trade any of the parenting craziness (or the tears) for a kid who was more contained or calm, even if it would make parenting in the day-to-day easier. There's magic in the wild.
Tired Twin Mom: I did purees when I started feeding my baby solids and batch-cooking and freezing was the easiest way to prep for this and mix things up. I'd freeze 1-ounce cubes after I made them in a baby-food maker and dedicated a shelf in my freezer to ziplock bags of all the different ones I made. I did this when we started more solid foods too, making and freezing batches of pancakes, meatballs, etc. He's 2 now and I still do this for when family meals aren't an option: batches of pasta, quick things like ricotta toast, still meatballs, etc. Also: Trader Joe's is your friend. They have lots of soft/kid-friendly things pre-made in the freezer section.
"Mix things up" just means not the exact same thing and just rotating few a couple things is fine. Once they're toddlers they all get picky anyway. In my baby group some people made a ton of things, some didn't, some did baby-led weaning, some didn't, and now they're all 2 and they all only like carbs and berries.